There the message came, loud and clear… the desert experience and training has begin. I guess I didnt expect it to kick start very soon. Well, i was so wrong, haha.. so wrong. Usually after the mountain top experience, next in place is the valley experience.. some stroll and walk down into the valley so its more gradual.

At the very last day of the camp.. i was feeling like shaken abit… a weird feeling esp after a great and ministering camp. The next moment, i found my myself literally crashed landed into the valley.. The training begin… its not a fun thing to crash into it.. but at least God got me shaken and awaken to the fact that… its a urgent matter esp in this season, this time. Thank God for that… not easy but a sowing and growing process. Waiting for the next mountain top.. =)

Value of pain.. priceless.. It took me a super long time to see it. I had my fair share of screaming at God… for the pain.. n wanting to trash it out.. with fists… Well is stupid to want to have a fist fight with God knowing that i cant win.. But i would say, its was through such times of wrestling with God until something happened.. that really brought forth the pain and sorrows and at the same time open my eyes to see who God is.

Its through the tears i shed. that i see God’s work in my life.. that i see God’s work in my life.. Through the pain, that interestingly pple’s around me, their life were touched and motivated. Through it all, I see God’s faithfulness and perfect strength in my life that makes Him so tangible and real and i cannot deny that God does not exist and He is truly the One true God. And its through all this that  I see that God is the source of my life and i would have collapsed into non-existence.

So i would say value of pain.. is priceless… =)

Now.. at this time, at this moment, this very second.. i feel like exploding. from within. I am just fill to the brim with anything but peace, joy… I am trying really hard to rejoice.. its jus so tough. A situation which i am trying to avoid.. now its really smiling infront of my face.. saying,“Yoz.. kiddo. here I COME!!!!!! U CANT RUN AWAY!!!!” “I AM GONNA CRASH N SMACK U RIGHT IN THE FACE!!! YOU WILL CRASH N BURN!”

The breaking process has started… well… i have to admit.. i ask for this.. so i have to go through it.. as requested. To be broken and mended again.. its really is frustrating, hurting. painful, tiring.. but at the end.. the outcome is a stronger n mature person. I cant type out details.. that makes it even more harder..

Today as i was on the circle line… i walk to the end of the train.. n i can see the tunnel in which the train in moving in.. pretty cool.. first time experience for me…  As i look on.. i could see the tunnel with its lights.. After a while everything turn black n all i see was my own reflection. At this moment.. God spoke..

“Son, you are in the valley now.. You will see some light at certain areas and point.. but when it become pitch black n unknown.. what would you do?”

For a moment i keep staring at my reflection and turn around n from the darkness outside.. i saw the light within the cabin. Then again God said.

“Son.. when u see your reflection, that is your true self..”
“In the valley, when the darkness overwhelms. When u start to fear. When u begin to feel lost.”
“That is when u will need to pray, read the word and focus on Me.”

“As you do that, you will see your true self in the mirror.. It wont be a great sight.. u will see much of the bad side.. but that becos i am refining you n showing the things u need to change..”
“The moment u tune your heart and focus unto Me, that is where u will see the light as you have seen within the cabin as you turned around from looking at the darkness n reflection.”

“Know that I am the Lord your God, Focus on Me not on the surrounding.” “I will definitely bring you through, all you need to do is focus on Me.”

That marks the short journey from Bishan to Serangoon. The valley is getting denser and deeper.. but God is still there.. I will have to focus on Him.. the light will lead me through n out.. Thank you Lord!

Isaiah 41:12  Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them.

Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.

Isaiah 41:13  For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand

and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Isaiah 41:14  Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob, little Israel, do not fear,

for I myself will help you,” declares the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

Well, today its a spiritual mountain top experience that i experience. My first church camp with Hope Singapore. It was one of the church camp which i literally cried like nobody business. The night before was adrenaline pumping night, i was also struck down badly with a sudden rash condition that literally keep me awake thru the night. A week before that, i feel literally crushed and pressured spiritually. The day came, i was really excited n dress in pink n blue.. how interesting. haha thk you shepherd.. ><

It was on the way there… i tried to sleep but couldnt sleep.. Felt the presence of God coming in as i listen to praise n worship songs, the prompting came.. “Pray, time to pray” As i started praying i started crying as well.. God presence jus simply overwhelmed me on the spot. I had to bend down low to not let others hear me praying n crying. Thk God, He covered me, everyone thought i was sleeping =)

Words begin to flow as tears flow unceasingly…. God reminded me of my goals which i set for the camp. God slowly begin to prompt and I started praying for alot of things about the camp. It felt like a moment where God say,”Take off your sandals for the ground you are standing on is holy ground.” To really sit down n listen n speak to God on a real close and intimate level.

God begin to speak. Felt God said, “I will bring forth spiritual rain upon My people in this camp.” As i open my eyes, i saw the dark clouds surrounding the area and it started to rain. The word revival rain pop into my mind.

“The rain of revival, the rain which will heal people of their hurts, emotions, spiritual.” “The rain which will once again bring forth harvest into the parch land.”

There was this river started to flow, a great river that flows forth from the throne of God.. bring life to all who drink from it. God is unleasing His living waters to wash over us. Next came, was few groups of people.

One group was sitting on the grass patch enjoying the beautiful sight of everything. Another group was playing on the shallow part of the river. The last of people was swimming and flowing with the mighty river and truly enjoying it.

God asked,

“Would you be like the 1st group who decided that they are good where they are and not going to move forward?
“Would you be like the 2nd group who merely stay in the shallow parts and choosing to enjoy part of the joy?”
“Would you be like the 3rd group who decided to be wash over completely & being lead by the flow of the river of life & truly experience the awesomeness of it?

Search God in the inner parts
Desire God in the inner parts
Dare to give to God and see how God is going bring forth a explosion in our life
Whoever calls upon the Lord, believes and trust, He will answer

Where would you stand and how would you react. My child?
Would hold let me hold your hand once again?
Would you once again dream for Me again?

One thing has been and always will be, My child
My love for you is everlasting
My love for you is always faithful
My love surrounds and watch over you always

But Praise to be God.. i prayed and committed the run to God and it start off @ 740 am… thru’ out the run.. i jus pray in tongues. n focus on God.. because its a thksgiving run!! Coming to 5 km.. i was like legs are starting to ache.. n my mind was like “Stop running! Walk also can!” Thoughts keep flying through.. force myself to continue to pray and focus on God.. manage to 7 km.. now the sun was burning.. i was like “ahhhh” I felt God say, “Time for praises…” I plug in my ear phones and started to sing and run at the same time. Frankly speaking, running and singing at the same time.. usually will drained yer breathe and strength away.. esp when i am not use to aren’t. But God is a God of possible! I become more excited and re-energized and begin to push on. 

The word passion again come into my mind.. Passion for the Lord, Passion of Christ, Passion for God… the passion that drives the apostles to go all out for God.. To run the race with God.. we need to have the passion, at the same time pacing ourselves with God’s pace.. and focusing on Him. That was wat drive me to the end and enduring till 11.5 km b4 i started walking. All the while.. i keep focusing on God and asking His advice whether should i cont’ to walk or run.. Finally…i felt the prompt, “Time to run!” I started picking up speed and sprinted and hey the finish line was jus ahead. I completed the race.. i took a long rest… recovering.. b4 collectin my bag.. i look at my hp time.. after the long rest.. its only 0955 ish am.. Praise God, my prayer of finishing it b4 2 hrs was answered and even better than i expected.. haha. Next.. with the long walk and i losed my shirt.. n had to get a new one. Praise God .. i make it in time for church service.. n not late!!! God is great!! Amen! Thank you God!!

As the world crashes in around me,
As the  enemies surround me,
In You, I place my trust and my hope

For You are my shepherd,
One who never forsakes nor abandon His sheep
But One who lay down His life to save all

In You, I am make whole,
In your presence, my hearts and souls cries out with songs of joy
In your presence, my feets are set to dancing

So awesome and wonderful You are,
Amazing glorious and beyond description
All glory and praise to You, Now and forever, Amen

“God, are you telling me to move on to another area?” “Have my journey here finished?”
“God, time for me to move out SG to Canada now?” 

As i struggled and seek God.. just not long things begin to unfold. God started to reveal things which just overwhelm me. Everything that He said to me at the start was beginning to take place. 

The familiar vision of a seed being planted, it died and grow into a plant. The process of dying to self and carrying the cross and slowly being grow and moulded in a “plant.” 

Where God has place me, grow where you are because that’s the environment to strengthened you and be pruned. It’s only when the plant has grow into a big tree and started bearing fruits. As the seeds are dispersed, that is the time to move.

Jer 29:11, God has plans and lay out the path way for me.. already. I need to seek Him and allow Him to work in my life.. and change and make right stuffs. Jumping into the River of God and be washed and brought along with its flow..

God also assured me in Psalm 114, despite the hard times and pain that comes along with the refining and training, bear in mind that “I am God”. “I will also hear and answer you, I will be your refuge and strength, on this Rock you will never fall!” 

A God whom i can depend and fall on… keeping the right attitude and perspective and looking out for God in all circumstances really helps and encourages me to press on… Amen!

Psa 114:1-8

(1)  When Israel went  forth  from Egypt , The house  of Jacob  from a people of strange  language,

(2)  Judah  became  His sanctuary, Israel, His dominion.

(3)  The sea looked and fled; The Jordan turned back.

(4)  The mountains skipped like rams , The hills, like lambs.

(5)  What ails you, O sea, that you flee? O Jordan, that you turn back?

(6)  O mountains, that you skip like rams ? O hills, like lambs?

(7)  Tremble , O earth, before the Lord, Before the God of Jacob,

(8)  Who turned the rock into a pool of water, The flint into a fountain of water.

Where would I be without His mercy
Where would I be without His love
Where would I be without His grace

Saved and make whole in Him
Strengthened and restored in Him 
Filled with love and joy that none could ever give

What more can I asked
But to dwell in His sanctuary
But to dwell in His presence

For better is one in His courts than thousand days else where
Praise and honor, glory and power to the God
Oh let the heaven and the earth rejoice and the praises sound, Amen!

Now to Acts, from the death of Christ, the scattering of His disciples and His ressurection and appearing to them. Upon reaching pentecost in the upper room… there seems to be a great shift in paradigm. The Apostles was like a totally changed person in almost every area. The power of the Holy Spirit was overwhelming and amazing. In so much that people will impacted and changed to believers.

Despite the suffering, the people has to go through.. there seems to be nothing that can stop them to think twice if they should go on.. It’s just simply one thing, “I will die in trying to share the love of God to everyone!”

Whats drives them on… definitely not preference but CONVICTION. Even death will not turn them away… Looking at myself.. and recently discovered… my walk with God.. the missing factor is deep conviction… whereas it seems like everything is more of preference. Thus the birth of Operation “Home Bound”, it will be a process of converting deep preferences into DEEP DEEPER even DEEPER conviction.. God grant me success, I prayed.. AMEN!!